Intimacy and Sharing

            Disclaimer: This topic may be one of those that is more controversial than others. Please respect each other in the comments.

            So, controversial topic time. What is it you are asking? Well we have talked about family life and kids, so what is left in a marriage? Sex and intimacy. I think that in today’s world the two are thought of as one in the same. If you are having sex, you are being intimate right? Not really. Men and women have different ideas about intimacy and that can lead to some misunderstandings in a relationship or marriage. In my personal opinion, intimacy is so much more than just going to the bedroom and having sex. I don’t know what other people think, but it is probably the best part of marriage. Intimacy means cuddling on the couch and watching a show together. It means bringing your wife flowers just because. It means cuddling at night and talking about your day and talking about what you liked and didn’t like. It is surprising each other with small gifts or going out to dinner just the two of you and putting the phones away and having a conversation. Intimacy is so much more than what people make it out to be.

            It is vital in a marriage to have more than just sex. People say that they got married because ‘the sex is great” but that won’t keep a marriage together for very long. You want it to last, you have to make an effort. I try to do all I can to help my wife out with chores around the house. When I know she is having a bad day, I surprise her with a crepe with Nutella on it and strawberries.  We work together to get things done and it has made our marriage so much better because of it. We try hard to have a date night every week to have some time just the two of us. It doesn’t even have to be anything fancy, just time for the two of us to talk and forget about the world for a while. Our marriage has been built on intimacy with one another.

            One point that I would like to bring up that we talked about in class this week when talking about intimacy was reconnecting with old friends on Facebook or talking about intimacy and sex with people, usually of the opposite gender, who are not your spouse. Now talking to old friends on Facebook, or Snapchat, or texting them isn’t inherently bad, but it is dangerous territory. Talking about intimate things with someone who isn’t your spouse is even more dangerous. Your spouse is the only person you should be talking to about such things. Let’s say that you start talking to an old friend from high school. You went on a few dates but nothing really happened. You start by just talking about what you did after high school, and your college degrees, and that turns to talking about the stresses of your job. You start to talk every day to see how they are and how they like work or school, you then start to talk to them when you are stressed, and start to share with them the intimate details of your life. You are no longer sharing with your spouse. This is why talking about intimate things is dangerous. It can lead to sharing things with people that aren’t meant to be shared outside a marriage, which can lead to other, more severe problems. Just don’t do it. Share with your spouse or significant other intimate things and keep them there.

Intimacy is special and should be kept that way. Take time to be intimate with the right person and only that person and you will see your relationship blossom.